Cheese and Jelly Tortilla
The joke lunch from hunting camp that turns out to work. Shelf-stable cheese spread, jam, tortilla, done.
- calories
- 610
- weight
- 5.5 oz
- cal / oz
- 111
- protein
- 14 g
- serves
- 1, scales
- prep
- 2 min
- cook
- 0 min
- total time
- 2 min
- water
- none
- cost
- $
Calorie and protein figures are my own estimates, good enough for planning a food bag and not meant as precise nutrition data.
- Lunch
- Snack
- No cook
- Backpacking
- Day hike
- Car camping
- Bikepacking
- Canoe / raft
- Vegetarian
- Nut free
- Eat in the bag
- Grab and go
- Shelf stable
- Dump and stir
Ingredients
| Flour tortillas | 2, 8-inch | they survive a pack; bread does not |
|---|---|---|
| Shelf-stable cheese spread | 3 tbsp | the squeeze-tube or jar kind, no refrigeration until opened |
| Jam or jelly | 2 tbsp | single-serve packets keep it clean |
| Salted crackers or pretzels | 1/3 cup | crushed, for texture |
| Olive oil | 1 tsp | optional, if you want the calories up |
Method
- Lay a tortilla flat on the lid of your pot or on the bag it came in.
- Squeeze the cheese spread down the middle and push it out to the edges with the back of a spoon.
- Spoon the jam over it in a stripe. Do not mix them; they should stay in layers or it goes to paste.
- Scatter the crushed crackers over the top, add the oil if you are using it, and roll tight.
- Repeat with the second tortilla. Eat standing up.
This started as a punchline about what you eat when nobody in camp can cook. It holds up because every part of it is stable at any temperature, needs no water, and takes two minutes with cold hands. Processed cheese spread is the whole trick: it is emulsified to sit on a shelf, so it behaves nothing like real cheese in heat and does not sweat oil in a pack.
The layers matter more than the ingredients. Cheese under, jam over, crackers on top gives you fat, sugar, and salt in separate bites instead of one sweet smear. Roll it tight and the crackers stop it from sliding apart while you walk.
Packing
Cheese spread and jam ride in a doubled zip bag; both will leak eventually. Crackers go in the same bag as the tortillas so the crumbs stay useful.
Variations
- A foil packet of chicken in place of the crackers makes it dinner.
- Swap the jam for hot sauce and a handful of crushed chips if sweet lunches wear on you.
- Honey packets work when the jam runs out and weigh less.
https://www.hunttalk.com/threads/meathead-and-flipper.206739